Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Top 3: Ways to Know You're Famous

In my mind, everyone wants to be famous. I don't mean everyone wants to be a movie star, I just mean everyone wants recognition for what they do. Not just a pat on the back from their boss either, they want full fledged hey-everyone-look-and-admire-me-for-the-great-things-I-do fame.

This is actually becoming easier to do than it was ten or twelve (because I will always think of ten years ago as being 2000) years ago. The internet, social media, YouTube and reality television have made becoming famous more of a reality for the average Joe than ever before. We are quickly coming to the day when every occupation in America is represented with its own reality television program. Remember when fishing was something hidden away on early Sunday morning television? Now people wait eagerly for each new season of "Deadliest Catch." Through blogs, Twitter feeds and YouTube channels we have become a generation of self starters who express our talents on the internet instead of the high school talent show.

However, to become truly famous there are three things person must do (can be completed in any order):

1. Guest-voice on "The Simpsons"
All of the items on this list are related to American media institutions. "The Simpsons" has been on the air for about as log as I have been alive, and there is no end in sight. In fact, as someone elsewhere on the internet pointed out yesterday, there is currently a race going on to see if the world will end before "The Simpsons" gets cancelled. Another common factor about this list is that none of these media institutions solely target music, movie, television or athletic stars. "The Simpsons" has had a wide array of guest voices during its 23-season run from business men to politicians to scientists and authors. A person who is able to make their mark on the world in some capacity has a good chance of being able to say a few lines in an episode. Plus, even if "The Simpsons" does get cancelled eventually the show will forever in syndication, and in turn, all those who have lent their voices in episodes.

2. Host "Saturday Night Live"
This is where the list gets a little more exclusive. "SNL" has produced over 700 episodes, but when you take into account many celebrities have hosted more than once, the number of actual hosts is smaller than that. That's less than 700 people out of 6 billion. That is a very exclusive club to belong to, and unlike "The Simpsons," "SNL" is a timely show. If someone only has 15 minutes of fame, part of that fifteen minutes can be hosting "SNL." Like "The Simpsons," "SNL" has had a wide variety of hosts, from prominent politicians to  people who have had affairs with prominent politicians. they even held a contest one year with the grand prize being for an average American to come on and host the show. That contest is no longer held making the honor of hosting all that more hard to achieve.

3. Be on the cover of "Rolling Stone"
"Rolling Stone" magazine covers the music scene but sometimes a pop-culture event or icon comes along that is just too big to ignore. The magazine is an American media staple. It has in depth cover stories and often features surprisingly insightful political commentary. Being on the cover of any magazine is a feat in and of itself, but Rolling Stone carries a certain respect of finally "making it" when people appear on the cover. People who aren't part of the music scene that make it on the cover convey the message that what they are doing right now is more important than anything that is going on in the music world at that time.

Consolation Top Three:
1. Be mentioned on an episode of "The Simpsons."

2. Cameo on "SNL" either on a Weekend Update segment, Digital Short, or in some capacity in the opening monologue.

3. Appear somewhere inside an issue of Rolling Stone.

Bonus International Fame Item:
So you accomplish all three milestones set out above. You have achieved fame in America. But you aren't satisfied. No America isn't enough, you want the world. Luckily there is only one program that you need to appear on, unluckily it might be the most difficult one to get a spot on. "Top Gear," the car show that is produced by the BBC claims to reach an audience of 350 million viewers worldwide. That is a sizable audience. However, the show only produces six to twelve episodes per year. On top of that the show is produced by the BBC meaning guests are almost always British, and when they aren't, they are big name American stars like Tom Cruise and Mark Wahlberg. Making it on "Top Gear" means that regardless of your knowledge of cars, your name is big enough to draw an audience.

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