Monday, May 30, 2011

My SNL Wishlist

Saturday Night Live ended a fairly boring season last week on a high note with all-star host Justin Timberlake. Saturday Night Live will be back again next year as it always is, but there are some things that I would love to see next season that probably will not happen. SNL will probably be better next season than it was this season if only for the fact that America will be gearing up for another election which always provides ample opportunities for satire. However, SNL needs to do a lot more than make a few political jibes next year to hang onto peoples attention. This season especially highlighted some of SNL's glaring weaknesses when it comes to comedy. From having absolutely no idea how to incorporate a host (cough Ed Helms cough), to the general lack of diversity in the current cast. So here are some things that I think would improve SNL for next season.

The Sketches
Now, I can't simply say that sketches should be funnier, its unrealistic that every sketch for every show would be a homerun. However, the place to work on improvement is the cold open. There hasn't been a funny cold open since Will Ferrel left the cast in 2001, and took his Bush impression with him. That was ten years ago. Think about that, ten years without a memorable way to open the show. There hasn't been a drought that bad since the original cast left SNL in 1980, and didn't get revitalized until the cast of the early 90's came along. The cold open needs to be the thing that gets people talking about the show. You want people saying, "Did you SNL the other night? Oh man it started with this great sketch about..." What people have been saying is, oh I heard there was a good digital short the other night let me check it out on Hulu.The cold open should be relevant, it should NOT be something featuring Lawrence Welk. It should comment on an event that has happened in the past week. Or it should find a way to combine two events in a way that the audience might not expect. SNL did that a few times this year with WikiLeaks, and some Obama stuff, but again nothing that really stood out. The event itself is not enough to carry the humor, they need to satirize it.

If the cold open can be fixed, the next thing on the list needs to be the monologues. Nothing was more dreadful than Ed Helms monologue a few weeks. SNL can often be painful to sit through at times, but listening to Helms struggle through some made-up story about how he wanted to be a baton twirler was excruciating. The monologues have become obscenely formulaic, they either have the host sing, go backstage, take questions from the audience, or have a cast member interrupt them. They need more variety, or I guess less variety.  What I mean is, let the host come on, and be who the audience expects them to be. let them be loose, and natural, and for godsake let them have fun. Too often they take a host and put them in a box or take them outside of what the audience know them for. After 36 seasons even this approach has become stale. It's too often that the host seems to be rehearsing a story rather than telling one. As much as Lorne Michels hates ad libbing, it may be time to switch to a less scripted format and give the host a little more control over that aspect of the show.

Finally, SNL needs to ditch any sketches that take place between 1930 and 1995. They just aren't funny in any way shape or form. The only exception to this rule would be if they can make it a parody for something going on in the world today. All of these lame brain game show sketches featuring celebrities that no one is familiar with isn't appealing to anyone. It's the same with impressions, non one cares if you can impersonate someone the audience has never heard of. Keep impressions familiar, this s where new cast members Jay Pharoah and Taram Killam have really broken out this season. Relatable impressions like Will Smith, Brad Pitt, Eminem, and Lil' Wayne. This more of what SNL needs, taking people down a peg or two who really deserve it, rather than trying to simply be funny by copying mannerisms from a certain time period.

The Cast
The SNL cast is in serious need of an overhaul. As I mentioned earlier the biggest problem is diversity. It is a predominantly white cast, and really has only one standout female performer. The cast members who get the most screen time are also the ones that have been their the longest. and these are the members that need to move on. Of the current cast members over half have been on the show for five years or longer. Seth Meyers is currently tied for third place for the cast member with the longest tenure on the show. Fred Armisen is right behind him with nine years, and Kenan Thompson follows with eight. Bill Hader has six, as does Andy Samberg, Kristen Wiig, and Jason Sudeikis. Compare that to some of the more successful cast members SNL has seen. The original cast only lasted for five years, if not less (Chevy Chase only lasted a year and a half before moving onto motion pictures). Adam Sandler was on for roughly four seasons, and Mike Meyers was on for six.  The reason this is that cast members know after three or four seasons whether or not their career is going to go somewhere. The people who stick around for longer than five or six seasons are simply biding their time to figure out what they are going to o with their career. SNL is a launchpad for a film career. Fifteen years after Adam Sandler left and began making films, he is still making movies that easily gross $100 million when they are released. That wouldn't be possible if he hadn't had SNL to get his name out there and build up a fan base that have now aged along with him, and still flock to see him.
Out of all the current cast members I listed above, three have a future in film. Sudeikis is slowly gaining a foothold with work is last spring's Hall Pass, and this summer's Horrible Bosses. I don't know that he will ever be a strong box office draw, but I think he will find plenty of side kick roles head his way in the years to come. As will Bill Hader who also has a established foothold in film with parts in Superbad, Adventureland, Hotrod, and this spring's Paul. He will continue to find roles as the sidekick as well, as well as scene stealing cameos, like in next summer's Men in Black III (reportedly playing Andy Warhol). The one who has a chance to be the big draw is Kristin Wiig. In all honestly I hate most everything Wiig does on SNL. I find her characters abrasive and her presence on screen over bearing. I mean what is funny about this sketch? (Seriously tell why this is supposed to be funny)

That being said I do enjoy her work in film where she plays more down to earth characters. With the recent success of bridesmaids, Wiig may begin to succeed where few other female SNL cast members have as a major film star.There have been many successful and popular females on SNL but few (if any) have serious weight when it comes to the box office. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are more known for their television work then their film work.

What I would like to see is for the three of them to move on this summer, and pursue their film careers.
As for the other four, I think Samberg could use one more year to make a little more of a mark in live sketches. While eveyone loves the Digital Shorts,  He also has a movie coming out with Adam Sandler at some point in 2012, so if that's successful, he could potentially also become a box office draw.
Meyers, Armisen, and Kenan all need to leave. While I've enjoyed Seth Meyers solo run on Weekend Update it's time to go back to the co-anchor format. In addition as head writer, Meyers carries most of the blame for the poor sketches, and as I mentioned above, his limited vision on how to handle the monologues is a detriment to the show.  The show needs some fresh blood to take over and shake things up, otherwise viewers are only going to get more of the same when the next season roles around.

As for Armisen, his contributions to the show have always given more credit than he really deserves. His Obama impression is weak, and his seniority on the show has let him keep that gig when Jay Pharoah really should have gotten a shot at it. Other than that he never really any strong recurring characters to call back too. He was a good supporting player but for some reason got more of the spotlight than he should have. He has a show on IFC called Portlandia that I have not seen, but got renewed for a second season. Stop splitting your time Armisen, and let someone else have a chance to shine.

Finally is Kenan Thompson. When I first saw that Kenan had joined the cast in 2003 I thought, wow that guy from Nickelodeon made it. Eight years later and I've come to realize. Kenan Thompson's charatcters are all the same. Literally every single one is simply a variation on the other. All he does is tweak his voice slightly from normal, but he tweaks it the same way, for every character. He puts on the same goofy grin, for every character. He doesn't have any range, and outside of "What's Up With That?" rarely makes a significant contribution to a show. I don't know how Kenan has survived on the show this long, contributing as little as he does, outside of the fact that he was, until this season, the only black cast member. I'd like to think Lorne Michels is better than that, but I'm not sure his track record supports that.

So that's who I would vote off the island, what about who should stay.

As I said, Samberg should stay on for one more season. I also would like to see Bobby Moynihan come back. I think Moynihan has potential that has yet to be tapped. If some of the veteran players get out of the way, Moynihan may be able to step into the spotlight. He has a very cartoonish quality to him that has only been unleashed on the rare occasion. That leaves us with Abby Elliot as the only cast member. Again because so many of the female parts go to Kristen Wiig, it's hard to judge the other females from this past season. However Elliot does have talent when she's allowed to show what she's got such as playing a girl Justin Timberlake slept with in last week's episode.

That brings us to this year's featured players. Perhaps I should explain for those who do not understand how SNL works. Every season there are Repertory players, those listed above, and featured players. You can tell the difference of who is who at the beginning of each episode during the theme song. You know the tune "It's Saturday night live with ... " and then the Repertory players are listed, then there is a break where they say "featuring..." and then lists the Featured players. The featured players are often the newest members of the cast, the ones that get tried out before becoming fulltime members. This try often rests on their shoulders thy need to prove themself to Lorne Michels and the audience that they have what it takes to draw people in. To have people coming back each week to see what they will do next.This was especially difficult this season, since there were five featured players competing for airtime with established cast members. That being said many of the featured players had at least one or sketches this season that they owned, but there chances of coming back are really up in the air. Let's go alphabetically.

Vanessa Bayer has perhaps been the the most successful at finding a niche in the SNL framework with her recurring Miley Cyrus Show Sketches.

Hard to believe those  just started this season right? Beyond that she played one of the Karadashian sisters, and had a few pop up roles else where. Since most of her work has been impressions this seasons it's hard to say how well she would fit in more of a character role, but it will be interesting to see if she comes back next year.

Paul Brittain had a rough season in terms of getting screen time. When he did though he brought a certain whimsical insanity that might make him a good replacement for Samberg. He has at least one good impression of James Franco, and snuck this little bit of crazy onto the end of a show a few weeks ago.

I'd love to see Brittain come back next season and get some more screen time, and inject some more of that crazy into what has become kind of a stale show.

Last summer when I heard Taram Killam was joining the cast I got pretty excited. SNL is not Killam's first TV job. His first job was as Jimmy the overly touchy orderly on the eighth season of scrubs. While he had a few funny parts on that show it wasn't until he unleashed his dazzling array of impressions that he truly got to show his talents. (Jump to :55 second mark)
Killam got to unleash a few of those impressions this year with varying degrees of success. However I think one of his better sketches came at the end of this season as a creepy automated robot.

If he comes back next season I would like to see him achieve a good balance of impressions (and actually do something effective with them) and more off the wall stuff like this.

Now Nasim Pedrad is the most senior of the featured players joining the cast in 2009. This will either be a make it or break it summer for Pedrad as she will either be promoted to a repertory player, or be cut from the cast. Pedrad hasn't done a lot to make her mark. She also has been one of the Kardashian sisters, otherwise she's just kind of had bit parts. The one exception is the Under-Underground music festival commercials she does with Jason Sudeikis.

While these are fun she needs to show she has more to offer to become a well rounded cast member, and as a significant part of the show.

Finally, there is Jay Pharaoh. As I said above, he rally should have at least had a shot to take over Obama from Fred Armisen. Many people complained that all Jay Pharaoh got to do was impressions this year, but hell at least he was good at them. He was a sorely underused talent, and could easily become the next Chris Rock (at least in terms of SNL).

For the most part I would like to see each of these five come back next year and take over the show. SNL needs some fresh faces in a desperate way, and these people are talented they just need some room to spread their wings.

The Hosts
The problem with the hosts SNL brings in is two fold:
1. They bring in people that they don't know what to do with.
2. A serious lack of diversity, this season there was not one African-American host.
The one thing SNL did do a good job of this season was trying to even out the amount of male and female hosts (9 females to 11 males). However not being able to find one African-American to come in and host inexcusable, there are plenty of talented people out there that could come on and do a great job.
As for my other point there have been too many cases in the last few seasons where hosts have come on and either been absent from a number of sketches, or are simply put into roles that they should not be in (e.g. Bryan Cranston, Ed Helms, and January Jones just to name a few).
So I'm going to do SNL a favor and pick out their hosts for the next year. I'm going to include some favorites, so newbies, and try and split the females and males evenly, and throw in some diversity. I'll also give some reasoning as to why. Also I'm not going to try and guess musical guests because that's just too difficult to predict. Here's my wishlist:
(All dates subject to change)
Sept. 24 (Season Premiere) Aziz Ansari - Season needs to get off to an energized start and for that they need an energized host. Last season started with Amy Poehler, which was a mistake. I like Poehler but she isn't the right person person to start the season, especially since it was her first time as host. Aziz Ansari is bursting with energy, he seems game for anything, he sings, he dance, and he does stand-up. He has a movie coming out this summer with Jesse Eisenberg that looks like it could be pretty funny, combine that with his work on Parks and Recreation, and you have something who has something to promote as well as someone who will work well with the younger cast I'm hoping will be more prevalent next season.

Oct. 1 Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a movie coming out on Sept. 30 with Seth Rogen. Gordon-Levitt has hosted once before and did a pretty good job even if he wasn't given the best material to work with. He brought a strong, positive energy to the show that would be fun to see again. In addition it gives him a chance to promote his film outside of the trailers, which are emphasizing the fact that it is a cancer-comedy.

Oct. 8 Zooey Deschanel would be a fun follow-up to Gordon-Levitt. If you've read my previous post about Fall TV, you'll know I'm pretty excited for her new show on FOX this fall. If it proves to be a hit, as I'm hoping it will be, she would be a great person to have host. Also, as Julie Roberts begins to noticeably age, the title for America's Sweetheart is pretty much up for grabs, and I see Deschanel putting it in her sights. She could even pull double duty as musical guest with her band She & Him.

Oct. 22 Rihanna has been slowly building an acting resume. She's proven she can do funny with her work with The Lonely Island. She has been a musical guest twice, and the third time has sometimes been the charm for musical performers to pull double duty as host and musical guest.

Oct. 29 Kal Penn will be out promoting the third Harold & Kumar movie during this time, so what better place to stop by than SNL. Penn has been keeping pretty quiet since leaving House a few years ago to go work for Obama. The one to punch of a new film for his most recognizable character, and an appearance on SNL will help put his name back on the map.

Nov. 12 Amy Adams hosted SNL back in 2008. She will be starring with Jason Segel in the new Muppet movie around this time, and it would be fun for her to ring a few of her felt friends along for her hosting gig. The Muppets and SNL have a long history together, from Jim Henson's adult Muppet sketches during the first season of the show, to Cookie Monster's appearance this past season with Jeff Bridges. So it would make sense to bring her on.

Nov. 19 Morgan Freeman wouldn't really be promoting anything at this time, his next film will be The Dark Knight Rises in 2012, but that didn't stop Dana Carvey from coming on and hostign this year. Morgan has never hosted SNL although he did appear back in October on a "What's Up With That" sketch. This would technically be the Thanksgiving episode, and I think Freeman's soothing vocals would set the perfect tone for this show.

Dec. 3 Tina Fey has hosted 3 times in the last four seasons. She pretty much can come on whenever she wants, so why not on this one? Fey has been pretty consistent during her hosting stints, except this last one which was a bit of a snooze. If the cast members that are more familiar with her don't come back next season, it could be refreshing to see her do something new with a cast that wasn't there while she was a cast member.

Dec. 10 Daniel Craig will be headlining a new potential franchise as the Hollywood version of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest comes out around this time. Craig would be only the second actor to play James Bond to host SNL after Pierce Brosnan. Craig has shown he can be charming and witty through his Bond role, but a stint on SNL would allow him to let loose and show his comedy chops (if he has any).

Dec. 17 (Christmas Episode) Steve Martin is always a great host, and again while he might not have anything to promote at this time, he would be a good way to end the first half of the season. Also Steve Martin has been around to revitalize SNL when it was in desperate need of it. From being hosting multiple times during the shows first five years to this amazing monologue from an early 90's Christmas episode.

Martin could bring some of that juice back to the show, and bring SNL back to prominence as it heads into election season.

Plus she's hot
Jan. 7 Olivia Munn had the poor fortune of being stuck in a mediocre sitcom this past spring, but recently signed onto Aaron Sorkin's new show for HBO.  While the show has no official start date, let's assume it will air sometime in 2012. Munn has a proven track record as an up and coming funny woman from her work on G4's Attack of the Show to becoming a correspondent for The Daily Show. In addition the craziness she was put through during her time on Attack of the Show has shown she is really up for anything, and has garnered her a large fanbase.

Jan. 14 Donald Glover has put up a strong showing on Community, as well kicking off a stand-up and rap career. Glover has a unique brand of humor that resides mostly in his persona being naive. However anyone who has heard his rapping alter ego "Childish Gambino" know that Glover is anything but. It would be fun to see what Glover's energy could bring to a show that doesn't normally cater to his brand of humor.And if you need more convincing, just watch this:

Jan. 28 Dwayne Johnson has hosted SNL three times in the past all with verying degrees of success, his most recent time her broke out a new character called "The Rock" Obama.

He will be out promoting his new film Journey 2: The Mysterious Island around this time as well as gearing up for his return to the wrestling ring as he takes on John Cena at next years Wrestlemania. He would be the most logical choice to host during this time.

Feb. 4 Mindy Kaling hasn't had much of chance to break out beyond her time at The Office minus a few small film roles. However she does have a good amount of comedy chops and has written some of the best episodes of The Office. Not only would she be a fun host, but she would also be a great asset to the writing staff, being able to work with them to fine tune sketches.

Feb. 11 Nicolas Cage getting in the cage with Nicolas Cage. Imagine the possibilities. If Samberg stays on for another season like I hope he will, imagine the insanity that would occur if he unleashed his Nic Cage impressions on the man himself. Cage has never hosted SNL before, but with Ghost Rider 2 (yep they're making it) hitting theaters around this time, this would be the perfect time for Cage to give it a go. Besides has Nicolas Cage ever turned down a role?

March 3 Peyton Manning is one of the few sports figures that have hosted SNL that have actually done a good job with their hosting duties. Remember this gem?

Manning did his one and only hosting gig in 2007, and with the football season ending around this time, this would be the perfect time for him to return.

March 10 Jennifer Lawrence is quickly becoming a household name after her work on the critically acclaimed Winter's Bone and this summer's X-Men: First Class. Expect that trend to continue when she headlines the first adaptation of the widely popular Hunger Games trilogy, as the heronine Katniss. What better way to celebrate her rising stardom then by getting her first hosting gig.

April 7 Eugene Levy is another person you might be surprised to find out has never hosted SNL before. The fourth (that's right fourth) American Pie film will be out in theaters around this time, and while it's more likely we'll see someone who from the cast of those films who has hosted SNL before return, like Sean William Scott (where does the hyphen go in his name? Anyone?), I'd like to start the online campaign for Levy to host right here.

April 14 Elizabeth Banks has now projects around this time, but I needed another woman for this list, and Banks is certainly funny and recognizable and would be a fun host.

May 5 Lady Gaga proved she's got what it takes to steal the spotlight away from the likes of Justin Timberlake. I don't know what else you need to do to prove you can host SNL. The writer's certainly seemed excited to have her, as they wrote her into more sketches that any other musical guest in recent SNL  history, I'd be interested to see if she has what it takes to carry a whole show.

May 12 Zoe Saldana is another actress who is making a name for herself. The last couple of episodes of any SNL season are usually reserved for celebrities looking to promote big summer films. Perhaps its more likely we would see someone from the new Avengers film hosting during this time, but I'll pull for Saldana in the hopes that Star Trek 2 will be able to meet its release date.

May 19 (Season Finale) Jon Hamm, there's not much more I think I need to say about this. SNL made the appropriate decision in the last few seasons to ensure the season ends on a high note by bringing in ringer hosts. Hamm has never hosted the season finale of SNL and I think next year would be a good year to have that honor. Really all I want is another sketch in this vein:


So there it is my extensive wishlist for the the 37th season of Saturday Night Live. Agree? Disagree? Got some other people you would like to see host next season? Hit the comments and let me know. I might do a follow-up post.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Brainstorm: What does Chirstopher Meloni do next?

Yesterday it was announced that after 12 seasons Christopher Meloni revealed he would not be returning to  Law & Order: SVU. While many are questioning who will replace Meloni, and even some wondering whether the show will be able to survive without him, I think it's time for someone to offer Meloni some new job opportunities.

Meloni is best known for his roles on SVU as well as a role on the HBO prison drama Oz. I know Meloni mostly from SVU, and during his time on the show he has done little other outside work. He did however guest star on one episode of Scrubs as a pediatrician.
That's just a small taste of what is a very good comedic performance from Meloni. However if you are familiar with some of his other work outside of television, you also know he had a part in the cult comedy Wet Hot American Summer as a deranged chef working at a kids summer camp. WHile not a main character, Meloni steals every scene he's in and gives some of the films most memorable quotes.
(If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.)
This got me thinking that it would be wrong to just go ahead and stick Meloni in another drama. Undoubtedly he wants to pursue film roles, or perhaps something more family friendly. Here are some ideas on where it would be fun to see Meloni pop up next fall.

NBC
Community  - The season ended with the study group yet to pick a class they would all take together next year. Personally I thought this season suffered a little without a Senor Chang type professor. Sure we got John Oliver as Professor Duncan, but I prefer it when his character interacts with the group in indirect ways, rather than forcing them together in a classroom. Meloni could play a recurring professor, someone who didn't need to get directly involved in the other characters plotlines, but someone who could fit in nicely with the rest of Greendale's oddball characters.

Parks and Recreation - This season ended with Leslie contemplating a run for mayor of Pawnee. While Amy Poehler has openly stated she would like Bill Murray to play the mayor of Pawnee (and for the record I would love to see this happen). However the likelihood of Murray coming on for more than one episode, or coming on at all, seems slim. Meloni would be a great mayor, since he can play both genuine nice guy and menacing bad guy. He could be the perfect two face character that would again not need to appear in every episode, but would be available when needed for story purposes.

ABC
Cougar Town - Admittedly, I like this show, and many people have simply written off because of the title. Let me assure you that the show has moved beyond its original premise, and is easily as funny as the two shows I have listed above. However, if there is one thing the show is missing, it's a little diversity (and no, Andy being Cuban doesn't count). I imagine Meloni coming on as a flamboyant gay neighbor who moves into the cul de sac. Again this would not require him to be in every episode, and I couldn't seem him permanently joining the cul de sac crew. I imagine him more like the character of Barb, who pops up at random times to throw out  great one liner.

FOX
Fringe - Meloni has already done the police bit, so making him a part of the Fringe Team wouldn't be much fun. I'd rather see him play a character that is a companion to the mysterious Sam Weiss. Someone who knows more than the Fringe team does about the parallel universes. I mean someone's got to help bring Peter back right? Might as well be Meloni.

Other ideas
You may notice I left off CBS. I don;t really watch anything on CBS but How I Met Your Mother, and I can't (read don't) want to see Meloni shoehorned into that story somewhere. If nothing else, I'm sure Meloni could find a unique cable project to anchor whether it be comedy, drama, or something new entirely. I just don't want to seem him end up settling for anything.

I started watching Law & Order right as Benjamin Bratt was leaving. To me, he and Jerry Orbach will always be the ultimate L&O team, but soon after SVU came on the scene. Few characters have such great on screen chemistry as Meloni and Mariska Hargitay (and fewer still can sustain it as long as they have). Some would argue a 12 year old boy shouldn't be watching a show that prominently featured a rape case every week, but I would say they're probably right.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

People I Know: Mike Lopez

People I Know posts are simply that. It is me, talking about people I know. I am doing this for two reasons: 1. Mike Lopez asked me to write a post about him. 2. I don't have anything better to do. Hit the comments if you want to be featured, or if you have suggestions about other areas that I should cover. Enjoy!
Mike Lopez at his most adorable
Name: Mike Lopez

Race: Presumably Mexican, although I've never asked.

Met: Late August of 2004, freshmen year at Marquette High, in Mr. Ralphson's  Biblical Literature Class. He wore a hoodie that mispelled his name as "Lopes".  He referred to me Chris Schwaylay. Possibly the only class we had together, although I don't remember.
Mike Lopez as I first met him
Graduated High School: In 2008 from Marquette University High School

Attended College at: University of Wisconsin Madison for a year and half where he reportedly became the president of the fraternity TKE. Then took a semester of and worked 1-3 jobs before returning to school.

Attends school at: University of Wisconsin Milwaukee (supposedly)

Likes to: Go bowling, see movies, drink, be social, smile, laugh, watch Scrubs, limbo under his car door while singing the limbo song

Works as: An orderly at a hospital, St. Lukes in Milwaukee, I'm not allowed to visit

Once: Lived in an apartment, now lives at home

Has: A girlfriend named Kristin, whose last name I did not know until four months ago even though they have been dating since high school; more zinc and copper in his hair than the average human being, signifies intelligence (might be a lie)

Is: President of a medical association organization at UWM that he "co-started" (whatever that means)

Wears: Glasses (frequently)

Favorite foods: Chipotle, Little Ceasar's, Taco Bell, Jimmy John's

Wants: To be a doctor, or at least that's what he tells me

Smells: Just kidding, I don't smell him...often

Won't: Shower before taking an exam, or cut his hair in the week leading up to exam, believes hair and dirt retain knowledge

Annoyed by: This sound

And that's Mike Lopez.

The Good, The Bad, and The Burgh: My Travels to Pittsburgh Part 5

Ok, so I left you on a big cliffhanger, and a lot of build up for this post, so it hurts be to have to tell you that certain details about this ay have been forgotten, such as where I ate lunch, and the name of where we ate dinner. However, there is still some really good stuff I do remember, and after this we are on the downward slope of this journey.
By this point, it's starting to feel real


Friday March 25 Afternoon
As I've already stated certain details are now being lost due to by delayed writing of this post, such as specific times, but this afternoon is when I finally presented my paper. It was a little unfortunate that one of my roommates was presenting her paper at the same time I was, but I still managed to gather a respectable crowd in my conference room.

As I mentioned earlier (or maybe I didn't It's been a while) each presentation had a similar theme. I presented my paper with four other women, all of whom also were presenting creative nonfiction pieces that were somehow related to family. My piece was about the death of grandfather (copies available upon request). There was a piece about a woman who witnessed her uncles beating up her father when she was a child, and how she had to lie to the police about it. There was a piece about a girl experiencing a wonderful day on the lake with her family. It was a scene of family serenity that would not last. There was also a piece about a girls sister who either committed suicide or attempted suicide (and I fell terrible for not being able to remember). I can't remember what the final piece was about.

Afterwards there was a short Q&A, with pretty typical questions, like what do you write? who do write for? Who do you let read your pieces? Stuff like that. It was a very enjoyable experience, and I look forward to participating again next year. One man said we were the best panel he had attended so far at the conference, so that was a good confidence booster.
I then went next door to attend the final panel one of our group was participating, and then since our entire group had finally made it to Pittsburgh, we decided to find a place we could all have dinner together.

5:30 p.m.-ish
Since we had already been to most of the restaurants in the immediate vicinity of the hotel we had to venture out a ways into Pittsburgh. Twelve of us in all, 11 females and one male, traipsing their way through the streets of Pittsburgh without the slightest idea of where to go. After about a half hour of walking and debating what kind of food we wanted to eat, we stumbled upon a small pub.
The nice thing about Pittsburgh is that they have great beer on tap everywhere you go, so i enjoyed a nice burger with a Samuel Adams Boston Lager. It really hit the spot.
We then went back to the hotel on a more direct route, and waited for that evenings speaker session to begin.

8 p.m.
That evenings speaker was Kay Ryan former Poet Laureate. Here presentation was interesting but I cannot remember anything specific from it, but I did enjoy it for the most part, although I do remember she wasn't terribly charismatic.
I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman either
9 p.m.
This is where the fun begins. Kaela and Kellie and I went back to our room to prepare for our night out on the town. Unfortunately, while there were other people on the trip who were 21, no one else seemed to want to join us for our adventure to the South Side. Their loss, cause we had a damn good time.

We got a cab, which was an older gentleman who couldn't hear very well. We had to tell him everything about three times before he heard us. We wanted him to take us to the South Side, and told him we were from Wisconsin. He had been to Milwaukee once to see a Brewer's game. Good for him. We asked him if there was a good spot for college student's, to which he informed us, he wouldn't have any idea about that. Thanks a lot buddy. He also forgot to turn on the fare until about halfway through the ride which was still kind of expensive. He told us he would drop us off at Mario's which was right in the middle of everything and then we could find our way from there.

As we turned onto the street, I finally felt like I was in  city, people everywhere, bumper to bumper traffic, noise, this is what I had been missing from Pittsburgh and we had finally found it. We saw one or two spots that looked promising and when he dropped us off at Mario's we back tracked a little to the Carson City Saloon. Why was there a bar named after Carson City in Pittsburgh? I have no idea. but this place was pretty cool.
The Carson City Saloon in the daytime
It was built inside an old bank, and still had a big-ass vault in it. They were selling $2 bottle of Bud Light, and they were playing some decent music. There was a creepy older guy (by older i mean like thirties) that was trying to hit on Kellie and after some strong urging we got her to dance with him for a little. Then the guy just stalked her the rest of the night so we tried to hide her. The beer got increasingly expensive as the night went on which is something that happens in bars I guess. Again, this whole East Coast bar scene is entirely foreign from anything I had previously experienced.
We stuck around there for a while then tried our luck down the road, This place had a special on Guinness, $3 a pint, so i got one of those, but otherwise the place was dead, so we moved back to the Saloon.

Here Kaela and Kellie met some gentlemen, so I let them talk while I explored the rest of the bar. There was a cool kind of upstairs balcony where you could see everything going on down below. It was up here that I also say the DJ booth was perched on top of the entrance. I also saw that there was a line of lopped string running from the bar to the DJ booth. The line had two plastic cups attached to it that would run down to the bar, where the bartender would put in two bottles of beer. The DJ would then pull the string and have the beers run back up to the booth. I thought it was one of the most en genius things I had ever seen.

[Sidenote: many people have bucket lists that they make about things they want to do, see, or experience before they die. I put things on my bucket list as they happen to me, because many things you don't realize you wanted to have happen to you until they are happening to you. For example at the Saloon I got to hear Wiz Khalifa's single "Black & Yellow" in a bar in Pittsburgh. They love that song, they went apeshit for it. So now, I have that added to my bucket list.]

By now it was getting to be around 12:30 a.m. I had stuck to beer most of the night so I had a pretty good buzz going, Kaela was a little further gone. We wanted to try and find somewhere to eat (a recurring issue on this trip if you haven't figured it out by now). One of the friends Kaela had met was going to take us to get pizza, ut the girls still wanted to try and find hummus, I didn't really care for either option. After several trips back and forth across the street and a chance encounter with a guy dressed in a Sidney Crosby jersey, that was decidedly NOT Sidney Crosby despite Kaela's arguments to the contrary, we happened on a diner and decided this was the best place to eat.
Sidney Crosby
Someone wearing a Sidney Crosby, there is a difference
The diner's name I cannot remember but it had good food, and I was able to get eggs, toast, hashbrowns, and a large spicy sausage patty for a reasonable price. We enjoyed several short conversations with the people around us, but for the most part were left alone to eat.

Finally it was time to leave, and we got a cab back. Our driver was much nicer than our first one. He was from Ghana, and worked as a cabbie on the weekends to make some extra money. He was very tolerant of our obnoxious questions, and loud singing. He seemed to enjoy our company as much as we enjoyed his, and while he took care to charge us for our entire trip it was only like a dollar or two more than it had cost to get there, which makes me wonder what kind of half assed route the old guy took to get there.

We arrived safely back at the hotel and promptly went to sleep around 2 or 3 a.m. knowing we had to be up in five or six hours to begin the final day of the convention.

So that's part five. Two more to go or so, maybe I'll try and knock it out in one I don't know yet. As always leave your comments below. And sorry there weren't too many pictures in this one.

Movie Review Catchup Week

I said at some point on this blog I would start doing movie reviews. I figure with summer well underway, now is a good time to start. however I'm going to with movies I've seen this past semester. There are seven of them, hopefully I'll crank out one a day for the next week, and then be all caught for more timely posts through the rest of the summer. I'll be going in the chronological order in which I saw each film, which is not necessarily the chronological order in which they were released. Some (read: most)of these movies will no longer be in theaters, and some might even be available soon on DVD. Also I haven't decided yet how exactly I will be grading these movies, so I will be trying a variety of options to see what works best. There is the five star, the four star, the letter grade, and 10 point scales. As always head to the comments for which scale you would like me to use, or if there is one I have not mentioned that I should be trying out as well. Here is a list of the movies I will be reviewing:
1. Hall Pass
2. Take Me Home Tonight
3. Cedar Rapids
4. Sucker Punch
5. Paul
6. Fast Five
7. Thor

Top 3 New Fall TV Shows

Summer may have just started, but it's never too early to start gearing up for fall. I'm off course taking about the new fall TV season. As many shows wrap up their seasons, the networks are revealing what their schedules will look like in the fall. Here are my top three picks for what to check out this fall.

3. Person of Interest (Thursdays 8 p.m. CBS)
The only drama on this list with a plot that may seem a little uninventive, but the people involved have certainly sparked my interest. Coming from J.J. Abrams this new show stars  Michael Emerson (Ben Linus from Lost) and Jim Caviezal (Jesus Christ from Passion of the Christ) as a software billionaire, and a retired CIA agent. The two team up to help those in need and bring down the bad guys. I know it sounds a little trite, and maybe even like its stealing a little bit from shows like Leverage, and Human Target, but here's why I'm excited. Lost has been off the air for about a year now, and if there's one thing i miss more than the story telling, it's the number of fantastic actors that show had. In addition Jim Caviezal has been struggling to say the least after Passion of the Christ. I've been a fan of Caviezal's ever since he played the lead in The Count of Monte Cristo (an underrated film, and an underrated performance).  it will be nice to have these two actors working together every week under the guidance of J.J. Abrams who needs a win in the spy genre after this year's failure Undercovers (bet you don't even remember that one right?).

2. Free Agents (Wednesdays 7:30 p.m. NBC)
With The Office fading fast after Steve Carrell's departure, NBC needs a new sitcom adapted from Britain to fill the potential void. Enter Free Agents starring Hank Azaria, a comedy about people who work for a talent agency (or something). Think of it as Entourage if the show was focused solely on Ari and his agency. Hank Azaria seems to be playing some type of sad-sack who is having a mid-life crisis (think Matthew Perry from the recently cancelled Mr. Sunshine). While this doesn't sound like an instant hit, the jokes seem pretty solid, and the cast seems to have a good chemistry.


1. New Girl (Tuesdays 8 p.m. FOX)
I saved the best for last. Zooey Deschanel takes a break from the big screen for some reason I can't fathom to bring her quirky self into the realm of half-hour comedy. She plays a girl who finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her and subsequently moves into an apartment with three other guys. While this good quickly delve into lame jokes about how guys don't understand women, this show seems to have a special charm to it that makes the concept seem fresh. Also, props to whoever decided to avoid implying that any of her new male roommates will be her potential suitors. Check out the preview below and tell me I'm wrong.

So there you go three shows to check out this fall. Agree? Disagree? Something I missed you think I should have mentioned? Hit the comments and let me know.*
*Please note I only included shows premiering in the fall, not show premiering midseason.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Coming Soon: More Posts

Don't worry all is not lost for this blog, in fact I have great plans ahead for it. However, I had to make sure my college's newspaper got published, plan a banquet, study for two exams, work at one job, train for another, try and contact by boss back home, finish a book, read some others, and work on a poetry portfolio, and another English portfolio, among other things. But next week I'll be posting again so stay tuned. I'll recap the movies I've seen since March, give an exciting conclusion to my Pittsburgh adventure, and hopefully delve into some new territory for summer. See you next week.